About the Tarts

Hello Tartnation!

Two Tarts Bakery is firetruckin’* sweet little cookie bakery located in Portland, Oregon. Our daily activities include, but are not limited to: baking, managing the music selection, pressing coffee, instigating questionable humor, the procurement /obsession/ consumption of foodstuffs, and now, blogging.

Two Tarts Cast of Characters

Lindsay (aka: Linzer, LEW, Linseed)
Lindsay can dance.  Just ask her to do the butterfly, and watch what happens.She’s also our production manager, in charge of deciding on a daily basis just what comes out of those ovens.

Trained as a horticulturist (she even did an internship at Longwood Gardens, one of the most amazing displays of botanical excess on earth,) Linzer’s intuition and attention to detail have made for an easy transition to the kitchen.  And she’s just so firetruckin’* nice.  I mean, she refers to farts as “toots.”  Come on!  This is a sure sign of her midwest upbringing, don’t you think?  Lindsay continues to pleasantly surprise each of us in the kitchen.  From her diverse musical knowledge to her mastery of the dough sheeter, she seems to be able to take on whatever comes her way.   There’s not much that she can’t handle, including her occasionally nutty coworkers.  Oh, and she has a serious thing for mustaches – hence the photo.

Veronica (V.)
One of my sisters asked me a very un-p.c. question the other day… “Do you hire based on looks or something?  Everyone at the bakery is just so damned cute!”  Why, yes, as a matter of fact, they are cute. But more importantly, they are amazing people.  Veronica falls solidly into that category, of course.  Smart, sweet, diminutive, and passionate about food and writing, there’s no doubt in my mind that we’ll someday soon be reading Veronica’s by-line in a national food publication.  In addition to her writing and cooking talents, Veronica is in possession of something I only wish I had -  the ability to be elegant without seeming the least bit standoffish.

Jessica (Jka, “Supertart”)
Once upon a time, we brought on a ridiculously quiet 19-year-old (yeah, you don’t often hear the word “quiet” used in the same phrase as “19-year-old”, do you?) young lady named Jessica to learn the ropes of the bakery. She was interning, meaning she volunteered herself as slave labor several days each week. So during the “interview,” she neglected to mention (maybe because ya’ gotta squeeeeeze words out of her) that she kinda sorta has this photographic memory.  So, we’d show her something once, and she would duplicate it perfectly.  Sheesh!  We decided pretty quickly that we needed to pay her in order to keep another bakery from getting wind of this woman.  Since then, she has quickly risen to the top of the pops of baking ability, easily outdoing us with her perfect fleur-de-sel chocolate chip cookies and her precisely piped macaroons.  She’s also to blame for the the awesome brown sugar pecan shortbread we’ve been churning out.  Now if we could only get her to talk a little more…

Carol Greiwe (Art Tart)
Friday is “Carol Day” at Two Tarts.  See, Carol is really a magnificent jewelry designer (carolgreiwe.com) and friend who graces us with her presence once each week.  So check this out… she’s yet another example of Midwestern charm in action.  See!  My theory has been proven!  Those Midwesterners are so damned pleasant!

In addition to creating amazing jewelry, Carol has a way with clothes.  Always a thrift store shopper, she wows us each week with her colorful, artsy outfits.  We love her.

Jen (Fudgemonk)
I have lots and lots of favorite things about Jen.  The fact that she loves dogs (beagles in particular) is high on my list of likes.  Also worth mentioning is her ability to cover herself in chocolate each and every day.  Who doesn’t love a baker who really gets into her job?  The fact that she apologizes for everything, a trait for which we tease her mercilessly, is also quite endearing.  But my alltime favorite thing about Jen is that she is clearly more than meets the eye.  We thought we brought in a shy, sweet intern fresh from culinary school… whoa!  As the newness wore off, we discovered a wicked sense of humor, unending calm, an admirable sense of right and wrong, and a fondness for the train wreck that is top 40 music.  Mornings of Lady Gaga and Beyonce, nearly wretching over Katy Perry videos, and discussions of last week’s episode of Glee are par for the workday with Jen.

Tom (still in need of a nickname)
Oh Tom.  The brave lone male in the kitchen.  How we love you.  Sometimes a business full of female energy can be a bit, shall we say… overwhelming?  Tom breaks up the vibe with his sense of humor, adventures in daily life, and keen musical selection.  Tom introduced us to Grooveshark, among other things, along with some questionable YouTube videos.  We dig him, and hope he continues to put up with our girliness.

Elizabeth (Queeen of Tarts)
And finally… there’s me. Three years ago, my sister Cecelia and I started baking our tiny treats in any commercial kitchen we could borrow or rent. We wanted to open a small bakery, but were too chicken to take the plunge.  Instead, we applied to become vendors at Portland Farmer’s Market, a nelly manueuver to be sure, but one that made more sense than we knew at the time.  To our immense surprise, the PFM panel liked us! (Don’t you just love Sally Fields references?) We opened our first market with what we thought was a giant supply of cookies, only to sell out within a few hours. Whoops. What the freak were we thinking? Two years later, we fitted out our sweet retail bakery, providing us with a permanent home for our baked goodness.

*Due to the unrealistic expectations of some in regards to our business etiquette, all references to the “F-Bomb” have been replaced by “firetruckin’.”